Valentine's Day! ❤

No, we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. Ee went on a date tho.

Spent the morning at pool walk and headed over to Starbucks for our usual brunch. None stop giggles as usual this morning and everyone was wishing each other Happy Valentine's Day, which I thought was really sweet! To me, Valentine's Day is not only for couples in love, but also for people who means a lot to each other.

Had a date with Love later in the afternoon, after his PT and training. Went to Maras Restaurant (again) to have desserts. Wanted to try their Pistachio Baklava cause we didn't get to try last week but it was not available today. Love had already krdered waffles before the lady told us they ran out of Baklava so I had limited time to decide what I want. Chose DIY waffles instead. Didn't really liked my choices but the waffle came looking very colourful and childish, which i had no problems with. I thought it was cute. Was having dizzy spells since I left the house and it got worst after the dessert. Didnt want to let Love know but it got real bad.

Walked around to Cold Storage after the desserts and headed back. Didn't get to spend much time with Love cause he needed to get home earlier to pack. Love's leaving for Bandung early tomorrow morning. I hate it when he leaves like that. Saying goodbye is always more difficult when he's going away on trips. This time he's going with his family. 6 days without him.... I'm already missing him and he hasn't even leave sg...

Gotta sleep now and hopefully wake up by 6 at least so that i'll get to text him before his flight!

The Griddy Date.

Realised today that it's been quite some time since we last had dessert. Our dates has mostly been movie or simple meal dates lately..

Spent the afternoon with Love at OTH today. Had a simple paleo early dinner at The Merting Den; I had their NZ prime Sirloin while Love had their pan seared Salmon. Nothing really special but it was still good and filling. Kinda disappointed that their Aligot wasn't as springy as i thought.

Headed to Griddy for dessert after. Like they always say, there's always room for dessert! 😂 I was quite full from the meal. Decided to be less of a fat child and shared a waffle with Love. Wanted to try the Smores waffle initially but Love's not a fan of marshmallows so went for their Granny Smith waffles instead. Loved the vanilla bean ice cream and caramel on top. Couldn't really taste the digestives tho.. 🤔

It was a lovely evening with Love nonetheless. Not much about work today. It was just us being us. Joked and chatted about all different kind of things. My favourite kind of dates. 💑

And the better news is..... We're going dinner date again tomorrow! 😆😆😆😆

Work Work Work

Lately, it's all been about work. I think 85% of my life revolves around work. Even after working hours, it's still work. Off day, still work.

Took an hour off from work to go Starbucks with love today. Initial plan was to take mc but since love's working, I went to work too. Went to Kallang Leisure Park's Starbucks cause Bedok Points quite crowded and we needed space. Love has his page to settle and i had proposals to complete. It was nice having him with me eventhough we were both busy with our work. Just his presence makes me feel more comfortable no matter where i am and how stressed i feel. I love it when smiles. Truth is, the reason why I can still hold everything in at work is because of him.

Anyways, I managed to finish 2 proposals and posters in 3 hours! That's an accomplishment!

I used to think that planning events is fun. In fact, i used to think work is fun. I looked forward to going to work. Now, i dread to go. I wish i can stay in bed longer. I wish i dont have deadlines to meet. I wish politics dont exist.

But hey, that's life.

Missed a day! 😅

I didn't blog yesterday. My bad.

Nothing much yesterday tho.. Just more stress at work. That's about it.

This morning started with, as usual, difficulty getting up. It's off day but Tuesdays means Pool Walk! It's something Love started late in 2015 and have been going on since then, with the group growing bigger and bigger. I dont mind going for pool walk cause I love the gang. They are a group of pioneers whom we call the ballerinas and ballerinos. They are the best group to be with when you're feeling down. Their jokes and laughters just automatically brightens up the day. 💗

We had our usual brunch at Starbucks after the programme. It's been our weekly thing since I dont know when. It's like our work date just to spend some time together and of course to eat cause we usually get hungry after pool walk.

Spent the other half of the day at home. Such a lovely weather today but got to get my lazy ass up for some workout. Going off MFP for a while to gain some weight. Love's been telling me to gain weight cause I'm too skinny (which i totally disagree) and it's making me recover from training at a slower rate. Or rather, making me get injured more frequently.

That's about it for today. ✌

Rest Day.

Took time-off today cause this girl's gotta slow down and get some rest! Work has been crazy and I'm on the verge of breaking down. Plus, this cramps are crazy. 

Been working for 15hrs straight for the past 2 days, running here and there for the Event. On top of that, the managers have been pressuring me with back to back events planning with datelines so close to each other. Planning includes, coming up with the event, proposals, posters and marketing which is mostly done by my Hali cause I suck at marketing. Having new managers made me feel more stressed and pressured I think. I've always disliked being asked and talking about work after hours cause hello, it's after working hours. I didn't sign a contract that says I'm working 24 hours a day. I need some work-life balance but the past few weeks, it's been 24 hours work. Even on off days. No, I'm not complaining about coming back to work for Pool Walk/Resistance band. I love going to work for them cause the ballerinas and ballerinos, as we call them, never fails to brighten up my day. 

I don't consider today a productive off day. Not really a well-rested one either but it's good to have days like this i suppose. All I did today was grocery shopping, eat, iron work uniform (see work again!), eat, watch some online shows as destress, eat, fell asleep, blog and I'm gonna cook for dinner after I finish this blog. And on top of it all, I really wish Love's with me. 

I blame this unproductive day on my cramps. Period. 

Growing up is really crazy. No joke. 

Giving up.

My limit is slowly reaching the top. Im completely drained. Mentally. Physically. I just want to be a way at this point of time.

Alone.

These days, everything doesn't seem to feel right. Everyone takes it as I'm being extra sensitive, even my boyfriend, but what they don't know is how lonely I feel. I mean I'm thankful to have many people around me, but why do I still feel lonely? Why do I end up crying to myself feeling like shit? No one really understands. "She's just being sensitive" "She's having PMS" 

No. I'm not being sensitive, neither am I having pms. I'm lost in my own thoughts. I need to talk to someone without being thrown back questions like "Why must you do that?" "Why are you doing that to yourself?" "No need la do that". And I need people to stop telling me what to do. Let me live. 

The number of sleepless nights, the number of times I had to hold back, the number of times I ask myself "are you okay?". I'm tired of putting up a cheery fun. Yes, I don't have to pretend, but do anyone really care?