I had butterflies in my tummy the whole day today! I've got to admit, I was looking forward to tonight since yesterday! The theme for the D&D was "Hollywood Movie Star". I thought it would be fun to dress-up but I have no idea what character to dress-up as so I went for something black and something me instead. Love said he would wear something similar so that we can be matchy matchy (but he wore more navy blue instead of black eventho I told him I'm wearing black.) Made me look forward to D&D even more because Love's going with me!
There was a change in our working shifts cause of the event so I was working from 11 - 3pm instead. So I got ready at 3+ while Love was training. Initial plan was to train before getting ready but it was already nearly 4pm and I knew I definitely would take longer to get ready (because I couldn't decide on what to wear and yes I brought the dress and the jumper to work). Love doesn't like to wait so I decided to forego training and start getting ready. Was having a hard time deciding my make up, which lip colour, which dress etc.. Didn't know that Love was all ready!
As soon as he saw me, the first thing he said was "omg you took more than an hour to get ready!" I was pissed. Firstly, he didn't tell me that he was ready. I was still in the toilet so there's no way I'd know when he finished training. and secondly, instead of a compliment, that's what he said instead? Seriously? I tried so hard to dress up and all I got was "omg you took an hour to get ready!". I was utterly upset. When I told him we should take Grab and I was already booking it, he kept talking about taking the train instead and in the end we did. I was not comfortable with what I wearing because I don't know how I looked. My confidence level was sub-zero but I had to put up a front. He asked if I was uncomfortable which I said yes to but we still ended up taking the train. My excitement for the D&D was slowly decreasing at this point of time. When we arrived at the place, there were many others who looked way better and Love couldn't stop exclaiming and saying how good they look. My morale at this point of time really dipped. Not even a single compliment or at least something positive from him to me. Wanted a nice photo with him but it ended up being an awkward photo instead. Why i chose the word awkward? He stood a distance away from me, standing in completely formal position. I don't see why we can't stand close and wrap our arms over each other's shoulders. I mean, he can take pictures with others like that. Standing close and even putting his arm over the other person's shoulder but when taking pics with me, he;s always standing further away. I understand this whole don't want people to know thing but people already know! And it wasn't a formal event. and even if people don't know about us, we can just be close friends taking a friendly picture together! I can't help but get upset at all this "little" things because it hurts me. And it's not easy to share these things with him because he won't understand, from my point of view.
I managed to hold it all in till the end of the event, Went home with mixed feelings. I enjoyed the fact that I went D&D with Love and spent the whole evening with him, but I can't deny the number of times I felt hurt tonight... Maybe I'll wake up feeling better.
As soon as he saw me, the first thing he said was "omg you took more than an hour to get ready!" I was pissed. Firstly, he didn't tell me that he was ready. I was still in the toilet so there's no way I'd know when he finished training. and secondly, instead of a compliment, that's what he said instead? Seriously? I tried so hard to dress up and all I got was "omg you took an hour to get ready!". I was utterly upset. When I told him we should take Grab and I was already booking it, he kept talking about taking the train instead and in the end we did. I was not comfortable with what I wearing because I don't know how I looked. My confidence level was sub-zero but I had to put up a front. He asked if I was uncomfortable which I said yes to but we still ended up taking the train. My excitement for the D&D was slowly decreasing at this point of time. When we arrived at the place, there were many others who looked way better and Love couldn't stop exclaiming and saying how good they look. My morale at this point of time really dipped. Not even a single compliment or at least something positive from him to me. Wanted a nice photo with him but it ended up being an awkward photo instead. Why i chose the word awkward? He stood a distance away from me, standing in completely formal position. I don't see why we can't stand close and wrap our arms over each other's shoulders. I mean, he can take pictures with others like that. Standing close and even putting his arm over the other person's shoulder but when taking pics with me, he;s always standing further away. I understand this whole don't want people to know thing but people already know! And it wasn't a formal event. and even if people don't know about us, we can just be close friends taking a friendly picture together! I can't help but get upset at all this "little" things because it hurts me. And it's not easy to share these things with him because he won't understand, from my point of view.
I managed to hold it all in till the end of the event, Went home with mixed feelings. I enjoyed the fact that I went D&D with Love and spent the whole evening with him, but I can't deny the number of times I felt hurt tonight... Maybe I'll wake up feeling better.
No comments:
Post a Comment