Timehop.

This popped up while I was scrolling through Timehop. I can clearly remember what this post was about. I was still in the dating-getting to know phase with Love then. I was hoping to see him at my graduation and during that time, it was still the honeymoon period, a.k.a I still didn't know his level of romanticism. Hahahahahahhahha!

Okay anyways, this tweet was me hoping Love would be there for my graduation cause I really wanted him to. But he wasn't and I didn't see him the whole day. Even when I met Sha and Hali for  my graduation dinner. This tweet was followed by another tweet later that same day, which was about choosing training over joining us for dinner.

I figured, maybe during that time it was still all new to me. I didn't understand why he did that. But now, I understand him better already! I don't expect too much. Love surprises me some times, out of the blue, which makes me really happy. There are days when he foregoes his training just to spend time with me. Although his training is still his top priority (yes, it's training over me) but he still tries, or rather I'd say he does, spend more time with me. Pampering me with good food, yummy desserts, catching movies or just simply having coffee together.

Blessed to have Love with me!

Movie Date part 2!

Still down! Got a feeling Mr Asthma is on it's way. Been keeping me up since last night. Hate it when I start wheezing and not to mention the cough. Woke up early still cause Adlan is on MC so I was working alone this morning which means, I can not be late.

Met Love for another movie today! I feel really bad cause I'm down at the wrong timing. Went ahead with our plans still cause I know Love wants to watch Fast & Furious 8. I'm glad we did tho! Love enjoyed it too so despite feeling under the weather, it still felt good! Spent some time walking around finding things for him while waiting for my carousell buyer. Got a little angry cause Love was on the phone with someone and talking about work. But figured there was no point arguing about this so I just went ahead to look for things instead. The thing is, we are out on a date but he's still settling work. So much for no work after working hours. Anyways, it's the past.

Started feeling worse than before with my head pounding and my itchy throat was causing me to cough non-stop. I loved the day and spending my time with Love but I can't help being all weak. Wanted to accompany love for dinner but I really felt sick and didn't feel like having anything for dinner.

Fell asleep a little while just now before forcing myself up to get some food in. Been forcing myself to eat to recover faster!

Oh, I got my very first appraisal today! How do I feel about it? Great! I was looking forward for it not because I wanted to know the results but because it was my first appraisal. Kinda excited for it. The results, however, caught me by surprise. Didn't expect to get what I got but am thankful for such result. Got a lot of people to thank but let's not make this post sound like I won an Oscar or something.

It's been a while.

It's been a while since Love last sent me home. Usually, he'd send me home only after we go out for new year, apart from the times when we first started dating.. It felt good when he sent me home today.. Tho i felt bad cause it was already late and he has yet to have his dinner...

We went to catch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 at Katong today. Made some last minute changes but thats normal. We planned to wear Krabi singlets but thos girl had to give pool walk a miss cause she wasnt feeling so good. Wanted to surprise Love and wait for him at Starbucks for our usual Tuesdays with Love but this sleepyhead slept till 1030. Felt so bad.. Wanted to spend as much time as i can with him before he flies off but I fell sick instead..

We still enjoyed the show tho. It was a good laugh. Felt worst after the movie and the bus ride made me super dizzy. Couldnt even have a nice sit down dinner with love. 

Gotta get better soonnnn!

My first D&D!

Call me weird, but I've always wanted to go for a company's dinner and dance! I don't know what's so special about it but it looks fun.

I had butterflies in my tummy the whole day today! I've got to admit, I was looking forward to tonight since yesterday! The theme for the D&D was "Hollywood Movie Star". I thought it would be fun to dress-up but I have no idea what character to dress-up as so I went for something black and something me instead. Love said he would wear something similar so that we can be matchy matchy (but he wore more navy blue instead of black eventho I told him I'm wearing black.) Made me look forward to D&D even more because Love's going with me!

There was a change in our working shifts cause of the event so I was working from 11 - 3pm instead. So I got ready at 3+ while Love was training. Initial plan was to train before getting ready but it was already nearly 4pm and I knew I definitely would take longer to get ready (because I couldn't decide on what to wear and yes I brought the dress and the jumper to work). Love doesn't like to wait so I decided to forego training and start getting ready. Was having a hard time deciding my make up, which lip colour, which dress etc.. Didn't know that Love was all ready!

As soon as he saw me, the first thing he said was "omg you took more than an hour to get ready!" I was pissed. Firstly, he didn't tell me that he was ready. I was still in the toilet so there's no way I'd know when he finished training. and secondly, instead of a compliment, that's what he said instead? Seriously? I tried so hard to dress up and all I got was "omg you took an hour to get ready!". I was utterly upset. When I told him we should take Grab and I was already booking it, he kept talking about taking the train instead and in the end we did. I was not comfortable with what I wearing because I don't know how I looked. My confidence level was sub-zero but I had to put up a front. He asked if I was uncomfortable which I said yes to but we still ended up taking the train. My excitement for the D&D was slowly decreasing at this point of time. When we arrived at the place, there were many others who looked way better and Love couldn't stop exclaiming and saying how good they look. My morale at this point of time really dipped. Not even a single compliment or at least something positive from him to me. Wanted a nice photo with him but it ended up being an awkward photo instead. Why i chose the word awkward? He stood a distance away from me, standing in completely formal position. I don't see why we can't stand close and wrap our arms over each other's shoulders. I mean, he can take pictures with others like that. Standing close and even putting his arm over the other person's shoulder but when taking pics with me, he;s always standing further away. I understand this whole don't want people to know thing but people already know! And it wasn't a formal event. and even if people don't know about us, we can just be close friends taking a friendly picture together! I can't help but get upset at all this "little" things because it hurts me. And it's not easy to share these things with him because he won't understand, from my point of view.

I managed to hold it all in till the end of the event, Went home with mixed feelings. I enjoyed the fact that I went D&D with Love and spent the whole evening with him, but I can't deny the number of times I felt hurt tonight... Maybe I'll wake up feeling better.

Moanday.

First day of Active Health today. I foresee 4 days straight of Starbucks and Foodfare since the course is spread out into 4 days.. Not that I'm complaining but I can certainly hear my wallet screaming. lol. Not really a good time to be spending so much since I'm going for a trip next week. But then again, I still need to eat.....  Not sure what to expect for this course either.. Waiting for Love to go get breakfast pairing at STARBUCKS.

Dating at Work.

Feeling super depleted this morning. Woke up at 3+ in the morning (again) and went back to sleep. Was awoken by noises and realised it was already 6.30am! Hali didn’t bring home her keys yesterday and Abang Rosli is on MC, which means I have to open the sports hall and office by 7! Was really hoping Dicky was the FI for the morning cause Uncle Goh isn’t working on Fridays and only Dicky has the office keys. If he’s not working then that would mean more trouble for me cause some gym members are not easy to deal with. So I ended up opening the sports hall 5 minutes late and some badminton players were saying things like “wah open late ah. Need to complain to town council” which I totally ignored cause 1) I’m human and humans makes mistakes like waking up late too (and he should be thankful I wasn’t late for 30 minutes) and 2) we are not under town council. Didn’t want to make it spoil my day so I just left after unlocking the gates. Am so glad Dicky was working and the gym has started operating already.

Finally joined the Resistance Band class after missing out the past 3 weeks. The ladies positive energy is just what I needed. Love seeing how motivated they are and they always treat us like their own children. Even though I was super tired and sore, it was still as fun as always.

After the class, Love and I made our way to Suntec City for the 50plus 2017 convention. Love asked if I wanted to come along and do the workout with him which I (obviously) agreed to. I was more excited to be out of office this time cause it’s an event with Love and targets the seniors which Love and I have been running programmes for. Went for brunch at Suntec’s Starbucks before heading to the convention hall. Honestly no idea what to expect at all. Went through the plan while having our brunch and I was confident it would work out well because Love did all the planning. True enough, the whole thing went smoothly except for the timing but that was not our control cause the timing part was not planned properly by the organizers (I feel). Love did some alterations during the workout which was one of his fortes. He’s able to change things on the spot smoothly and seeing how time is running out, he managed to alter accordingly. Stayed a while to join the Basic Japanese class and boy was it entertaining. Love is leaving for Japan in a week so he wanted to learn some basics.

Headed to Starbucks again after to get beef pie for Love. I was still full tbh but I didn’t want Love to have to squeeze and eat so much later at night. So got myself the tomato flatbread and another cup of coffee! Walked the whole Suntec cause we made the wrong turn and only realised when we were reaching the North wing which was in the middle so continued walking to East wing to take the train from Promenade instead.

We headed to Sports Hub to train at the gym there after the whole day of movement. My energy level by then was only 45% but since I’ve already told Love I wanted to go to the gym again and I know Love would want to train. I wanted to bench cause I didn’t bench on Tuesday but ended up being super disappointed with myself when I couldn’t bench 25kg. Felt like a weakling. I was really on the verge of crying. As much as I didn’t want to show, I think Love got the feeling that I wasn’t happy. Didn’t want to give up so did other machine exercises instead. My wisdom tooth kept being a b*tch and I had to handle both the pain and my fatigue. Love kept saying “now you know how I feel” and “Rabak seh you tired” which did pissed me off but I didn’t want to spoil the day so I just kept quiet. Can’t complain about my aching tooth too. Spent 2+ hours at the gym with longer rest time today but I still had a decent session I guess.

The thing I loved most today was being able to go dating with love throughout the whole day! Perks of working together with the significant other! Brunch date after band class, dating at the roof garden while waiting for our segment to start at Suntec, tea-break date after event and gym date! ❤

Gym date at Sports Hub

Love didn’t have PTs today so it means dating! Went to sports hub gym to train lower body after work. I’ve always thought it was insane and I’d never be able to train for 3 hours. Today, I proved myself wrong. I followed Love’s training plan (doing lighter weights of course) and went on for 3 hours! >< Call myself insane.

It was fun tho. I love training with Love. I feel more at ease and safe with love around. There are times when his trainer instincts kick in but that’s what I need to. He guided me through deadlifts and other lower body exercise. Didn’t really feel tired until after training.

Went foodfare for dinner. Love still hac 1000+ more kcals to eat and I know he would not hit if we were to go back straight so suggested to eat at foodfare. Nice down time for us too. As much as I wanted to have what he had, my wisdom tooth was giving problems and my gums were sore so had to go for yong tau foo instead. But it was still lovely nonetheless. 

Ladies Day Out!

The super overdue ladies day out! 

My off days are always occupied with my own plans cause staying home on off days means just lazing around. Off day usually starts with Pool Walk in the morning, brunch with Love at Starbucks followed by either staying on and doing work or going home, shower and head back out. 

This week, Love had a course to attend to so I conducted the Pool Walk alone and headed back straight after. Ibu mentioned that she wants to go Halal Hub and asked if I have plans on my off day. It's been a long time since I last went out with her so I asked her last night if she wants to have breakfast and go Halal Hub today. Didn't know kakak's off day was on the same day too so she ended up tagging along. For once I actually drove independently without any other drivers in the car! 

Had brunch at Chick-a-Boo which was obviously not my choice. The food was alright. The chicken tasted like Arnold's but I did like the sweet potato fries. Sat for about 1 1/2 hours chatting and laughing. It feels different now cause both kakak and I are in our mid-twenties now. The marriage age they say. Ibu brought up a conversation she had with Bapak when they were in JB about us getting married and how it'll be. So started all the marriage talk. Both kakak and I do not agree on having a big event. As much as I've always dreamt of a grnad wedding, I don't think that it's feasible, especially in the current economy state.

The conversation continued for quite some time and more crazy ideas popped up, like getting married together with Pak Busu and Hadi so that we share the cost, getting married in Australia so we dont have to invite so many guests and many other different ideas. I naturally started talking about Love and the buffet spread consisting of greens and meat he mentioned about. I'd want to take the simplest way and just get married at ROM without any big ceremonies but doubt that would be possible. 

We went Halal Hub after we got tired of laughing. I personally think it's overpriced there! I mean, there's nothing really wow about it. Ended up getting 2kg frozen chicken breast from the FROZEN SEAFOOD shop opposite Halal Hub. Lol!

I needed coffee badly and it was a Tuesday which meant Gelare 1/2 price waffles. Had our tea break there and continued chatting. We were all getting sleepy thus the coffee. 

Lovely day it was, just spending time like that. Once in a while is fine but not too often! :P

On a side note, chubby cheeks gotta go!

Valentine's Day! ❤

No, we don't celebrate Valentine's Day. Ee went on a date tho.

Spent the morning at pool walk and headed over to Starbucks for our usual brunch. None stop giggles as usual this morning and everyone was wishing each other Happy Valentine's Day, which I thought was really sweet! To me, Valentine's Day is not only for couples in love, but also for people who means a lot to each other.

Had a date with Love later in the afternoon, after his PT and training. Went to Maras Restaurant (again) to have desserts. Wanted to try their Pistachio Baklava cause we didn't get to try last week but it was not available today. Love had already krdered waffles before the lady told us they ran out of Baklava so I had limited time to decide what I want. Chose DIY waffles instead. Didn't really liked my choices but the waffle came looking very colourful and childish, which i had no problems with. I thought it was cute. Was having dizzy spells since I left the house and it got worst after the dessert. Didnt want to let Love know but it got real bad.

Walked around to Cold Storage after the desserts and headed back. Didn't get to spend much time with Love cause he needed to get home earlier to pack. Love's leaving for Bandung early tomorrow morning. I hate it when he leaves like that. Saying goodbye is always more difficult when he's going away on trips. This time he's going with his family. 6 days without him.... I'm already missing him and he hasn't even leave sg...

Gotta sleep now and hopefully wake up by 6 at least so that i'll get to text him before his flight!

Work Work Work

Lately, it's all been about work. I think 85% of my life revolves around work. Even after working hours, it's still work. Off day, still work.

Took an hour off from work to go Starbucks with love today. Initial plan was to take mc but since love's working, I went to work too. Went to Kallang Leisure Park's Starbucks cause Bedok Points quite crowded and we needed space. Love has his page to settle and i had proposals to complete. It was nice having him with me eventhough we were both busy with our work. Just his presence makes me feel more comfortable no matter where i am and how stressed i feel. I love it when smiles. Truth is, the reason why I can still hold everything in at work is because of him.

Anyways, I managed to finish 2 proposals and posters in 3 hours! That's an accomplishment!

I used to think that planning events is fun. In fact, i used to think work is fun. I looked forward to going to work. Now, i dread to go. I wish i can stay in bed longer. I wish i dont have deadlines to meet. I wish politics dont exist.

But hey, that's life.

Love.

L.O.V.E.

What is Love?

There are many different kinds of love. Love for something, love for an animal, love for doing things, love for someone. 

How do you differentiate the kind of love?

How do you differentiate loving someone and simply liking someone? 

What if, you love someone but the person doesn't have the same feelings for you? 

How sure are you that your other half loves you as much as you do? 

When I fall in love, I fall hard. Everything will be about the person. Will he like it if i do this? Will he be okay if i do that? I'll share everything, even things I don't want to share initially, even things that he might think is not important but I tell him anyways. I don't hide things, except sometimes I'll take a while before telling him. Things like why I'm upset/angry at him. I'm scared that it would end up becoming an argument. 

The past few days, issue on trust keeps popping up. It feels like he thinks I dont trust him. Why would i be with someone who I dont trust? True, I can't trust anyone 100%. After all the past relationships I had, I fear trusting people fully. Everyone said "you're the only one", everyone said "I have you, I dont need to find another one", some even said "I love you". Everyone left. 

Call me old-fashioned but I take relationships seriously. If you keep telling people "no we're not together" and keep hiding that we're dating, how would that make me feel? And when I do say something, he keeps saying that I dont trust him. 

Sometimes there are things that he do which makes me puzzled and I start questioning in my head. Why did he have to hide his phone away and text secretly? Wouldn't that make me more suspicious? Why can't he just do it openly? And when he keeps talking about his past girlfrieds, the things he did with them, how does that make me feel? How do i not feel like he have not gotten over them? How would i not be scared that if he meet them, things will happen again? 

I'm always torn between sharing and not sharing my feelings. The fear of losing him scares me. 

I am scared. 

Trust. 

The Waffle Date

So it was one of the random sweet cravings again and I've been telling him how I feel like having waffles. Brought him to Dhoby Ghaut for Creative Waffles but me being the lost child, didn't know how to get there so he took the lead instead. Nothing new there! 

We both had own our plates, I got the most chocolatey one while he had the waffle stacker with Ice cream. It was good. Came here with the girls before so I knew that the waffles were nice. He agreed too!

Nothing beats good food and of course, the wonderful company! <3 div="">

I should be doing my RJ.