All Grown Up.

"What was I thinking?" That kept echoing in my head as I read my posts from the very start of this blog. 2009, the year I started this blig, also the year I was sitting for my O'Levels. When I was at a young age of 16. 

8 years later, I'm back in this blog. And I'm planning to continue from here. I can't promise I'll update very regularly but I'll be back often enough so that when I come across this blog again in 5 or even 10 years time, I'll have more to look back on and see my progress throughout the years.

Well, for a start, here's an update about myself. I'm 23 this year. I graduated from polytechnic in May last year and I've just started full time since May this year. I'm currently working as a Guest Officer with a semi-government company. How I got this job? I was an intern at another centre in 2014 for my polytechnic course. Then I continued as a part timer and ended up taking full-time here. I became complacent and attached to the people here. Here is also the place where I fell in love with my partner. 

I'm still getting used to adulthood. There are so many things to learn from. I know things comes naturally but sometimes it gets a little too difficult for me. 

There are a lot more things that I want to update about but due to time constraint, I'll update again soon! Just got back from work and it's time for bed. 

Goodnight.

Esteem.

SELF-ESTEEM
: confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect."assertiveness training for those with low self-esteem"synonyms:self-respect, self-regard, pride in oneself/one's abilities, faith in oneself, pride, dignity,morale, self-confidence, confidence, self-assurance, assurance; 

A weakness of mine. I hate it sometimes. It makes me feel silly. It makes me scared.

It is slowly turning into a fear. A fear that's pulling me away from everyone. Even the one i love. 

BLOGGED!

It's been so long since I blogged here. In fact, I've actually forgotten that I actually even have one! 

So many things happened during the past 3 years. I regret not documenting all those moments. Reading back the previous post brought back many memories, even memories of the posts that were deleted before I started blogging again. Why did I even deleted those? It would've been a trip down memory lane, reading the posts from when i was in my teens now in my twenties.

The reason why I suddenly remembered about this blog is because someone dear to me had started something new. Don't know why it suddenly reminded me of this blog but yeaa.. maybe I should continue this blog from here on. Just for my own keepsake. Documenting every precious moment.

Will update and probably clean up my blog ASAP when i have the time!

The Waffle Date

So it was one of the random sweet cravings again and I've been telling him how I feel like having waffles. Brought him to Dhoby Ghaut for Creative Waffles but me being the lost child, didn't know how to get there so he took the lead instead. Nothing new there! 

We both had own our plates, I got the most chocolatey one while he had the waffle stacker with Ice cream. It was good. Came here with the girls before so I knew that the waffles were nice. He agreed too!

Nothing beats good food and of course, the wonderful company! <3 div="">

I should be doing my RJ. 

1st year.

It's been a year now... The thought of not having you around, not able to see you, not able to talk to you, hear your advises still hurts. I'm still sorry for not able to do alot of things with you.. Maybe it's because im at your house and everything's flashing back in my head, it hurts more. Watching the show just now, her granddad was giving her a teddy bear and was talking to her, i missed you more. I just miss you. Simple. I miss you. Alot. So much.

I love you.

Atok,
  Yaya pass Year 1 Yaya. Atok mesti suka kan? Yaya da habis da year 1. Lagi 2 weeks yaya start Year 2. Skejap je seh. haha. G.P.A yaya tak bagus sangat tapi yang penting yaya habis setahun kan? Kalau atok ade  kat sini... agak agak ape atok cakap? Mesti atok bilang yaya " bagus tu, girl kena belajar rajin rajin. kesian bapak kerja siang malam carik duit. nanti girl da habis skola da boleh dapat kerja bagus boleh tolong bapak pulak," Yaya  boleh imagine atok cakap gitu.

I Love You Atok! Take Care. Baik Baik kat sana! Yaya Rindu Atok! <3 p="">

Thankful, for you.

The past few weeks, months have not been easy. Everyone's still coping and trying to move on. Nenek's been quiet while Wak Mah has been trying to keep the mood up. Bibik's been a great companion too, to nenek at least. If only everyone would stop talking bad about her.

K's been by me throughout. I went back to school on the Monday after Atok's passing despite everyone asking me to take compassionate leave cause I didn't get much sleep. Everyone was giving condolences and asking if I'm alright and stuff, except K. 

He doesn't say a single word about the passing. He did, though, doodle sweet, comforting words, drawings in my phone and tries to distract me whenever I'm lost in my thoughts. Until today. We had a deep conversation over dinner. About losing someone dear. He didn't want to bring it up earlier cause he knew how I was feeling and didn't want to make me feel more sad. Sharing and talking with him made me feel better, after keeping all in. (I teared, I admit) And of course, his jokes liven up the mood a little.

"Truth is, it never feels alright losing a loved one."