Video Call!

Got a surprise video call from Love! No, he haven't fly off yet. He was having his beef pie when he video called! I couldn't contain my smile. Had to call him back to cause I didnt manage to answer on time..

The call lasted for about 1/2 hour but it made me feel so good. I feel bad not sending him off at the airport but I can't. Partly because I'm really bad at goodbyes. I'll definitely start tearing up. Yesterday's goodbye was sad enough. Partly was also because Casper is there. I know Love would be uncomfortable. The video call kept me smiling. Just watching him eat his beef pie, making faces and just talking about random things for a while. I miss him already.. I'd hug him through the video call if I could..

His flight probably took off a few minutes ago.. I can't help but to keep checking the time. I'm feeling half empty already... 😔😢

He's off.

The start of watching Love through his igstory again. That's the thing about Love. When he's away, he takes forever to reply, but his igstory is always updated regularly. I may sound like one overly attached girlfriend but it makes me feel unimportant. His ig is more important. I'm the least in his list. How to not feel lonely when he's away?

I know he wants to study abroad and I can't stop him but I'll prolly need months to prepare myself for it.

I think I really have unlimited amount of tears. Macam free flow je.....

This shitty feeling all over again.

whether im okay or not it doesnt matter.. never matters anyway. Always been that way.

10 more days.

I held it in!

It's always difficult to say goodbye to Love whenever he's going away. Somehow it was more difficult this time. Maybe because he's going somewhere even further? I was trying so hard to not tear up but it got harder. My steps were getting heavier too.

I seriously need to stop being such a cry baby. He's only going for 10 days Nurul Syahirah....................  

MC.

Decided to visit the doc today. Initial plan was to just take the morning off and go to work at 9. Went to LJS at 9 instead to get porridge for work but when Love texted asking if I want to join him for breakfast, my plans changed. I was 50 50 deciding whether to go clinic or not so when Love texted I made my decision. Waited for Love and had my porridge at Starbucks while Love had his egg white wrap. It was a short breakfast date but it felt good!

Went to the clinic after and got MC till Saturday. Love asked if I took MC on purpose. I wish I did! But this cough and wheezing had been bothering me these days.. Went back to work to settle some LTP issues, Mother's day event ( which is gonna be a failure) and some other office issues.

Spent the afternoon with Love! Accompanied him to HQ cause he had to sign something then headed to CCP to find his boots and instant noodles. Yes, these days it's been about Finland Finland Finland. I've got to be honest, I'm still having mixed feelings but after the talk we had the other day, I'm still trying to let it sink in. Looking forward for 17 May already.

Wasn't feeling so good but still wanted to accompany him cause I'll feel worse if I don't. And I want to spend more time with him. 10 days! I dont want to imagine. Am planning my days while waiting for him to come back.

Had our dinner at Bagus. My appetite wasnt so good. I feel like eating a lot of things but I don't feel like eating anything. If that even makes sense. I mean, I do want to eat this and that but when it's in front of me, I don't want to eat it. We went NTUC after to get his instant noodles and he also got some tuna too. I was already feeling uneasy and breathless but I didn't want to show.

Love's been checking on me and making sure I eat and get enough rest. But I'm being stubborn, wanting to accompany him here and there instead. I can't help but be worried about him when he's there. I'd pack for him if I could.. Got to get him some hand warmers tomorrow before I meet him for more shopping!

Kakak is back from Korea today. No more being alone in my room. No more sleeping naked. 😪😧

Timehop.

This popped up while I was scrolling through Timehop. I can clearly remember what this post was about. I was still in the dating-getting to know phase with Love then. I was hoping to see him at my graduation and during that time, it was still the honeymoon period, a.k.a I still didn't know his level of romanticism. Hahahahahahhahha!

Okay anyways, this tweet was me hoping Love would be there for my graduation cause I really wanted him to. But he wasn't and I didn't see him the whole day. Even when I met Sha and Hali for  my graduation dinner. This tweet was followed by another tweet later that same day, which was about choosing training over joining us for dinner.

I figured, maybe during that time it was still all new to me. I didn't understand why he did that. But now, I understand him better already! I don't expect too much. Love surprises me some times, out of the blue, which makes me really happy. There are days when he foregoes his training just to spend time with me. Although his training is still his top priority (yes, it's training over me) but he still tries, or rather I'd say he does, spend more time with me. Pampering me with good food, yummy desserts, catching movies or just simply having coffee together.

Blessed to have Love with me!

Movie Date part 2!

Still down! Got a feeling Mr Asthma is on it's way. Been keeping me up since last night. Hate it when I start wheezing and not to mention the cough. Woke up early still cause Adlan is on MC so I was working alone this morning which means, I can not be late.

Met Love for another movie today! I feel really bad cause I'm down at the wrong timing. Went ahead with our plans still cause I know Love wants to watch Fast & Furious 8. I'm glad we did tho! Love enjoyed it too so despite feeling under the weather, it still felt good! Spent some time walking around finding things for him while waiting for my carousell buyer. Got a little angry cause Love was on the phone with someone and talking about work. But figured there was no point arguing about this so I just went ahead to look for things instead. The thing is, we are out on a date but he's still settling work. So much for no work after working hours. Anyways, it's the past.

Started feeling worse than before with my head pounding and my itchy throat was causing me to cough non-stop. I loved the day and spending my time with Love but I can't help being all weak. Wanted to accompany love for dinner but I really felt sick and didn't feel like having anything for dinner.

Fell asleep a little while just now before forcing myself up to get some food in. Been forcing myself to eat to recover faster!

Oh, I got my very first appraisal today! How do I feel about it? Great! I was looking forward for it not because I wanted to know the results but because it was my first appraisal. Kinda excited for it. The results, however, caught me by surprise. Didn't expect to get what I got but am thankful for such result. Got a lot of people to thank but let's not make this post sound like I won an Oscar or something.

It's been a while.

It's been a while since Love last sent me home. Usually, he'd send me home only after we go out for new year, apart from the times when we first started dating.. It felt good when he sent me home today.. Tho i felt bad cause it was already late and he has yet to have his dinner...

We went to catch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 at Katong today. Made some last minute changes but thats normal. We planned to wear Krabi singlets but thos girl had to give pool walk a miss cause she wasnt feeling so good. Wanted to surprise Love and wait for him at Starbucks for our usual Tuesdays with Love but this sleepyhead slept till 1030. Felt so bad.. Wanted to spend as much time as i can with him before he flies off but I fell sick instead..

We still enjoyed the show tho. It was a good laugh. Felt worst after the movie and the bus ride made me super dizzy. Couldnt even have a nice sit down dinner with love. 

Gotta get better soonnnn!